Great Moments in Gaming: The Onyxia Wipe Video

a quick break from actual gaming by Renzie Baluyut

I don't know if you've already seen this video, but I just did a few months back.

Backgrounder: if you've been playing World of Warcraft, then you know that the later storyline brings in Onyxia, this big-ass black dragon boss, who has decided to take the southern part of Dustwallow Marsh as her lair.

It takes a massive effort to bring Onyxia down, with guilds organizing large raiding parties still getting wiped. Onyxia on her own is tough enough, but adventurers also have to deal with all kinds of Black Dragonspawn- among them, Black Dragon Whelps. Many, many whelps.

Now here's a disturbingly hilarious video of one such guild who had come knocking on Onyxia's lair. And promptly got wiped. Thanks to Alachas1985 for capturing this moment in viral video form- truly one of the greatest moments of gaming. Ever. Take a look.

Here's a transcription of what went down. Mind you, if you it's filled with expletives- so a word to the sensitive ones. Just had to stay faithful to the original material, is all. With that out of the way...

Odd groups go to the left, even groups go to the right. That means 1, 3, 5, 7 - left, 2, 4, 6, 8 - right. Seven and Eight are Whelp Groups.

Okay, now listen the fuck up: you're going to DPS very very slowly. Now... and by slowly, I mean fucking slow.

If you get aggro, it means you're going to lose 50 DKP 'coz you didn't know what the fuck to do!

And watch the fucking tail!

If you get kicked into the whelps, you lose 50 DKP again- for not being where the fuck you were supposed to be.

There is no aggro reset. The only... there's some shit about an aggro reset when some people don't know how to manage their aggro.

After 2 Sunders, you can basically start doing damage to it. Assuming you know how Aggro works, you son't over-Aggro.

OK, nuke it, DOT it, help the whelp groups...

When it's in phase 2, nuke it as hard as possible. You want to get it down as fast as possible. Have DOTs up on- on every time. 2 rows: Shadow Word: Pain, Warlock Curses, Rend, everything.

I don't see enough DOTs, more DOTs now! Come on, more DPS! Hit it like ya mean it! You'll get time to rest in Phase 3 while (down) getting Aggro.

Remember, save your Aggro-reducing abilities for when it lands. That means Feign Death, Vanish, -erm- fucking Fade, anything that you can use to reset Aggro.

At 40%, you will stop DOTs. Until then, you will throw more DOTs. Throw more DOTs, more DOTs, more DOTs. Come on, more DOTs! 'K, stop DOTs.

Now hit it very hard. And very fast!

Lee, run to the center! Mogrus, run to the center! Foresight, run to the center! Sarp, run to the center! Isis, run to the center! Whatever the fuck you do, don't stand next to other people!

Mogrus, center! Just heal me.

Lee, do NOT..! Go away from the head, Lee! Go away!
'K, DPS! Slowly! Come here, you fucking cunt! Watch the tail!

(Someone else) Whelps. (Somebody else) Crushim was Feared into...

WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT? Crushim, what the FUCK? Whelps- left side! Even side, many whelps! NOW, HANDLE it!

FUCK!

That's a FUCKING 50 DKP minus! What the FUCK was that SHIT?

If you stand in the right fucking place, there is NO WAY you are going to FUCKING get into the GODDAMNED whelps, whatever fucking FEAR, Tailswipe- whatever the FUCK! Okay?! It's like one in a fucking million!

From the- fucking north corner, to the middle, into the fucking Whelp cave, it's not even FUCKING remotely imaginable!

(end)

From Alachas1985's YouTube entry: The audio was created by "Dives" from Wipe Club, I had nothing to do with its creation, I only made the animation. Cheers to the guys from "Wipe Club" (http://www.wipeclub.eu) for making the sound clip!

Cheers indeed!